2:28 p.m.

MAT Illegally Yours starts off with a really lengthy Rob Lowe voice-over. This is a bad script-writing technique. Some people get sniped at and a mialman gets shot. For no reason, Rob Lowe decides to visit his parents. So far, this movie seems to be in love with slapstick comedy. Also, against traditional casting, Rob Lowe is a dork in this movie. He speaks in an annoying, high pitched, squeal sputtering dialogue that sounds more like Woody Allen than Rob Lowe. [E.N. - Rob Lowe sounds nothing like that, in the movie.] It also has a really fake alligator. The concept of Rob Lowe chasing his after his love reminded me of "There's Something About Mary." Putting glasses on Rob Lowe doesn't make him look geeky, it makes him look stupid. Nothing strips the fun from comedy than court cases. The movie is only an hour and a half long, but it seems like four. Illegally Yours gets 1 out of 4 stars. GREG Rob Lowe wears glasses. I think Rob Lowe is joining a jury so that he can bag the oh-so-fine defendant Molly Gilbert. Rob Lowe can't imitate a woman. This movie is sort of that whole making sense thing. Narration is not cool. This movie needs mutant bikers and or nude Demi Moore. Molly Gilbert needs to calm down. She's freaking insane, but I guess she's innocent. This movie does not at all explain itself. They keep talking about how Molly is in danger and the these guys are conspiring against her, but make no attempts to explain it. Wait....now they're explaining it.... at the end.....as a lame plot device, and only sort of. Rating: This movie kind of sucks, and makes no sense. 2 MRU's out of 5 ZACK Rob Lowe is unconvincing as someone who doesn't frequently score. I predict that zaniness will ensue later on in the movie. Rob Lowe lies to get onto a jury. I think he's in love with the defendant. Rob Lowe still lives with his parents. I'm assuming that Rob Lowe is psychic, because he know a lot more about what is going on in this movie than I do. This movie is frighteningly similiar to Jury Duty. Man, Mat is a terrible actor. It seems that "Jury Duty" is more accurate in it's portrayal of the legal system. The movie really doesn't make much sense. It's like something Mat wrote. Conclusion: 2 out of 5 Quality Points 1 out of 10 Bratpack Points Mat's Nugget of Wisdom Mat:"He [Rob Lowe] isn't a sleazy character like he is in all of Mike Myer's movies." Zack:"You mean Wayne's World?" Mat:"Well, he was sleazy in Tommy Boy." RICH Oh man. Not even a minute into the film and I can't understand the plot AND there's guns. [E.N. - truthfully, how many movies are there, that you can understand the plot within the first minute.] Greg says that this is going to be a bad movie, and boy is he right. This is a HORRIBLE prologue. The mailman death scene is cool. I'm 99% positive that this movie was adapted from a play. A HORRIBLE play. Instead of a smooth ladies man, Rob Lowe is a nervous, jittery Ellen Degeneres type. Wow, this movie is horrible. I don't like Rob Lowe's character At ALL. "What going on here?" That's what I want to know about this movie. I can't write anymore about this movie. I hate it. Wait, I can agree with Greg's statement that this movie needs either mutant bikers or a nude Demi Moore. If I learned anything from this movie, it's that you can have a blatant disregard for the law without suffering any consequences. Conclusion: 1 star. That's it. I was really glad when this movie ended, let me tell you.